Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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