Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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