my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am naked and annoyed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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