CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
