Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
