I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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