She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
