ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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