Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
