I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
