Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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