well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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