it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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