Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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