Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
