I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
