sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How external is "for external use only"?
We left the knife in your bed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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