well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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