on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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