I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
