the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
