i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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