chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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