woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
