Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
