Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
