He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
