you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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