I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
