Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
