we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
