and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
