Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
