Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
