i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
