Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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