So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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