We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
