addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
