Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
