Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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