And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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