I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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