two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
