I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
