No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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