I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
