I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
