Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
