Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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