Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
