Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
