you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
