Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
